True Blood 3×06 “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues” TV Review

Look it, putting my True Blood review for 3×06 “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues” right before episode seven airs. Life’s been a little behind these days.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Jason

In his letterman's jacket, Office Jason 'catches' fornicators.

Russell isn’t scared of Sookie’s powers. Nope. He’s fascinated by them, and apparently, when Sookie can’t pull the same trick twice, he drags her back to Casa del Fabulous. We find out that Russell’s over 3,000 years old when Bill attempts to kill him to save Sookie. If I was a historian in the True Blood universe, I’d be sitting Russell down and making him tell me the history of the world. And most importantly if his collection included the lost Doctor Who episodes.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Bill and Russell

Russell throws Bill into the ceiling. Kind of awesome.

Sookie’s a little stupid here. We know Eric’s playing Russell for a different angle and also that he has a little obsession with our favorite waitress.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Eric and Sookie

Eric shares this obsession with Snoop Dogg. Oh, Sookie.

Since Cecelia told off Pam over on Weeds, Pam from Weeds decided to take a trip to Bon Temps and be the worst customer ever for Arlene. Making Jessica feel a wee bit sorry she’d been glamoring Arlene’s tables to stiff Arlene on tips. Two redheads at Merlotte’s work just fine. But don’t worry, Jessica decides she needs a little snack and maybe Arlene does need those tips.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Arlene

Somehow I don't think Southern ladies go out at night with curlers in their hair.

Jason and Crystal get with the sexing. Only Crystal knows someone’s watching them. Beware of *insert spoiler as it’s in the books*.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Crystal and Jason

Jason says you can't have coitus interruptus if you never got to the coitus part.

Russell and Sookie have a little heart to heart. Or perhaps petrified organ to heart. I’m surprised Russell played trade the question with Sookie. Not that he would’ve told her anything he thought might put him in jeopardy. Russell’s clearly going to be disappointed just how little Sookie knows. Both about her lineage and Sophie-Ann’s dealings.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Russell and Sookie

Russell has to confess to Sookie that they'll never be besties.

After a painfully long teasing scene, Jesus and Lafayette finally kiss. Huzzah.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Jesus and Lafayette

Smoochies. Finally. I thought I was going to die too.

During Bill’s being tortured to death by Lorena scene, all I could think of was Lorena’s gorgeous shirt and how she was going to ruin it with all the blood. Clearly, you need to have a separate wardrobe for torturing or crying, in a vampire’s case.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Lorena

Someday, when I'm adult, I hope to have a shirt like this. (By this, I mean when I'm not carded for R-rated movies and could pull this look off.)

But the whole part about Lorena just being a nice girl underneath it all who was Stockholmed by her maker was a load of crap. Why can’t women just be evil? Russell gets to just be evil. Why can’t Lorena? Why does she have to be torture and molded into evil by her male maker? Why can’t Lorena just enjoy torturing Bill?

Knowing the Sookie’s in the building, Tara puts her plans for their escape in order. She knows vampire blood makes a human strong, and she — in one of the most horrifying yet scenes — convinces Franklin she’s not going to run away by having sex with him while untied and drinking his blood.

Lafayette takes Jesus back to his house. Luckily for Lafayette, Jesus is the only person in Bon Temps who appreciates his interior decorating skills. In fact, Jesus is ready to make them both very comfortable. Until those trashy hicks start bashing in Lafayette’s car windows because no sweet happiness can last too long. (And here I just thought I was cynical because I’ve watched too many Joss Whedon shows.) Jesus helps Lafayette chase them off, but during the beat-down, he realizes Lafayette is a dealer, specifically of V. Jesus informs Lafayette that he just can’t put up with Alan Ball’s writing and date a stereotype.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Jesus and Lafayette

Dammit. Dammit. I suppose sooner or late, Jesus would figure this out.

Meanwhile, in rich vampire land, Russell and Eric have taken a trip to see Sophie-Ann. Russell proposes a mutual-beard marriage to her because damn, those vampires are old-fashioned. Sophie-Ann is not impressed.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Sophie-Ann and Russell

Russell has more money than you'll win in those scratch-offs, Sophie-Ann.

But like most men, Russell has a way to make sure this marriage happens. He’s having her baby. I mean, he’s holding her girlfriend hostage and has hostilely taken over her kingdom by either killing her guards or having them change sides for their lives.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Sophie-Ann, Eric, and Russell

Sophie-Ann mopes like the teenager Russell accuses her of being.

Eric’s volunteered to babysit her as the sun comes up. He’s just a little pissed as Sophie-Ann’s trying to pin the V-dealing on Eric.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Sophie-Ann and Eric

Anytime you want to practice carrying women around, I'm right here, Eric.

As the sun comes up, Bill’s dying and Lorena just can’t leave him. She’s also throughly ruined her amazing shirt. Blood just doesn’t come out of silk. So sad.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Lorena and Bill

Lorena will at least be able to reuse the knife.

There’s also some crap with Sam’s family. Where yes, his father is using her brother (and formerly used his mother) in dog fighting. Sick. But somehow really boring. Also Crystal has a finance, blah, blah. Jason’s upset and arrests the football star for sex in public. *yawn*

Escape time has come for Tara and Sookie. Tara starts off the morning by bashing in Franklin’s head. I cheered loudly. You go girl. That and thank goodness, she’s changing clothing. I love this plot line. I love that Tara escapes on her own, which redeems this story a little bit. (Not all the way because there was way too much fail for that.)

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Franklin and Tara

Mace to the head. Good morning, Franklin. Tara is no man's.

In her first acting job of the day, Tara pretends to be a cook who needs to feed Sookie almonds. I love how Tara’s communicating with Sookie via telepathy to be ready. Though good thing for Tara that Sookie isn’t hurt at all.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Tara

Tara plays cook and uses just enough information about how Talbot runs his household to make her story real.

But Sookie just can’t leave without Bill. Tara tries to be a Sassy Gay Friend (except she’s missing the scarf and the canon queerness) save Sookie from herself. But Sookie’s insisting to find Bill.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Tara and Sookie

Tara is pissed. She saves Sookie who then wants to save the vampire who didn't lift a finger for Tara.

Luckily for Tara and Sookie, Cooter and Debbie are high on Bill’s blood and more interested in having sex in the woods than watching Russell’s property. And when Tara does run into a wolf, it’s Alcide. Who forgot all his clothes, not just a shirt, this time. Of course, liking every guy Tara runs into, Alcide is looking for Sookie.

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Alcide

Sorry, Tara, the actual heroic guys are only looking for Sookie. Ball keeps giving you the losers.

Of course, Sookie finds one not-so-sleepy and very deranged Lorena who’s ready to kill her. Cliff-hanger!

True Blood 3x06 "I Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Lorena, Bill, and Sookie

Will Sookie die? Will Bill die? Tune in soon.

About Erica

Erica McGillivray spends too much contemplating the socioeconomic importance of the bananaphone. Ring, ring, ring. Bananaphone. She loves bunnies, soap opera plots in comic books, and dreams of flying in the stars. Erica works for Moz in inbound marketing, which means sometimes, she'll talk about that.
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